Punch Drunk Love

"To Alcohol! The cause and solution to all of life's problems!" (Homer)(Simpson, not the Greek guy) A good drunk can make you feel so much better, or so much worse. It's an interesting subject. Drinking can bring out all of your emotions. The good part about drinking is that it lowers your inhibitions, making liquid courage to do what you want, or say what you want. That's also the bad part. Say the wrong thing, or do the wrong thing, and it could be opening a pandora's box. Liquor can lead to bliss, or heartbreak, or sometimes worse. I've seen people fight, get hurt, and even die from alcohol related incidents. It's not that I'm condemning alcohol use. I'm an avid alcohol enthusiast. Sometimes though, we go too far. I have not been immune to the nasty side of drunkenness. Many good ideas while drunk seem to be not so good ideas in reality. So many people have heard my "good ideas" while intoxicated, and many no longer talk to me. Obey the rules! Rule 1: Every girl does not want you to fuck them! Confidence is one thing, but cockiness can lead to slaps, drinks in your face, or a mean boyfriend who is probably also intoxicated. Rule 2: Fighting is warranted only when necessary. Necessary means if your friend's in trouble, or a guy's being a abusive prick to a girl. A mean look, revenge, or nasty words (unless it's not a joke about your mom) does not warrant a black eye. Rule 3: Tip your bartender, but don't think just cause she's cute, and you tip her well, she'll wait for you after the bar closes. Do not hit on your waitresses, it won't get you anywhere but a ride to the door. Rule 4: Friends stick together, unless they're getting some. Have your friends as back-up, unless you're going to hook up, then they should understand you ditching them, and if they don't, remind them who got laid last night, and who didn't. This applies to guys and girls. Guys understand this better, and girls tend to get so pissy at their friends who ditch them for a guy. To those girls: Go get yourself a guy too, and then you won't feel like a loser! Unless the girls are of course dumb bitches, and can't find a guy, then they can go fuck themselves! Well that's my latest rant. Drink my lads and lasses! Drink! Be careful.

Remember: "I may know everything, but I can't give you all the answers."